"we were driving to birmingham, alabama and my buddy keith was driving the truck
And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac.
She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that big fat bitch
So i grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went"

Big fat bitch
She's a big ol big ol fat bitch
She goes to ryan's and they say, "shit!
This one's gonna cost us...
She's a big ol bitch!"
She's a big ol bitch

She sweats grits
You can hide a pound of dope
Under one of her tits

Big fat bitch
She's a big ol bitch

Who stole christmas?
The grinch
Who stole the twinkies?
Big fat bitch!

She's a big ol bitch

Yeah she had this cajun friend
Who had a pet alligator
She ate that some-bitch
Like it was a green now n later
Or a fried green da-mator
You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush
To masturbate her

She's a big ol bitch
She's a big ol bitch

When she was eight years old she had a pogo stick that would say, "hey wanda!"
And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong"
And now her pogo stick says, "holy fucking shit!"
And they go "bount. bount."

She's a big ol bitch
She's a big ol bitch

She gargles and drools and spits
And she makes all kinds of noise
She chases the ice cream man down cunningham
In her corduroys

She's a big ol bitch
She's a big ol big fat bitch!!!!