I want to go home to St. Thomas
you better leave your woman at home in St. Thomas
because she's not your girlfriend, just your turn
better settle down because you might get burned
there's a whole lot left to learn about St. Thomas

Well the first thing that you notice about St. Thomas
is that the island is so full of alcoholics
and if you're looking white, then you ain't right
it'll it'll take you all night to reach havensight
on the wrong side of the road in St. Thomas

There's lots of fun diseases in St. Thomas
pick and choose your STD's in St. Thomas
got a crotch-rot-twat with a side of fleas
and a double douche burger with vaginal cheese
so get your girlfriend off of her knees in St. Thomas

K-mart sucks my ass in St. Thomas
so we went to the gas and grass in St. Thomas
you can get a dime bag or 2 or 3
and have enough weed for you and her and me
lets all go get irie in St. Thomas

Our saxophone player bought some fake weed in St. Thomas
so we traded it for mushroom tea down in St. Thomas
and now I'm on a hunt for that muddascunt
who sold him that fake blunt
I'm out of money, so please from me some ganja

There's a rastaman watching from the forest up in St. Thomas
to keep his crop from all of the tourists down in St. Thomas
but is he gardening? no, in his garden grows
enough weed for a brontosaurus
till I found the clitoris in St. Thomas