Claude is a virgin
And he's 25 years old
And he's afraid he's gonna die a virgin
So I told him to get a hooker
And that's exactly what he did

Claude got a hooker
For a hundred and fifty bucks
And she came over to his house when his mom wasn't home
And she stayed for an hour
But he only inserted his penis for 15 seconds
And that doesn't count
You put your penis in
And keep your penis in

Well, Claude felt good about it
Until he told me about it
And then his self-esteem
Went right back down to below zero
Right down along side the curb

He thinks he lost his virginity
But he really didn't
And that's the story of Claude

Cuz 15 seconds doesn't count
What's wrong with you
What the hell did you do for an hour Claude
15 seconds doesn't count
You're still a virgin Claude
And you took 150 dollars
And you threw it right out the window

Because she stayed for an hour
But you only inserted your penis for 15 seconds
And that doesn't count