Some time ago at santa’s place up in the old north pole,
There lived a lump of anthracite
Whose parents called him joel,
Joel, joel, the lump of coal

Happy as a lump can be,
He just wants to keep santa warm and make the elves cosy,
But santa claus has other plans for joel one fateful day,
"Joel, you’re just the lump I need, come join me on my sleigh",

Joel, joel, the lump of coal,
Heart leapt up with joy,
I’ll soon be santa’s present to a lucky girl or boy,
We’ll laugh and play together
And we’ll hold each other tight,
Snuggle under clean white

Sheets when we go to sleep at night,
Then santa’s elves all laughed at joel,
"You’re in for a surprise. You’re not a special
Christmas gift, you’re just a booby prize,
What kid would ever want you? You’re filthy as can be,
And now you have to go
And live with one who’s been naughty.”

You pollute the air with co2 and mercury,
Joel, joel, the lump of coal,
Fell down upon his knees,
"I don’t want to live with a naughty kid
Don’t make me, santa, please",
But santa laughed his jolly laugh,
"Ho ho, you stupid lump,
You’re just the thing to teach this
Brat that santa ain’t no chump, ho ho ho”

So off they flew and before he knew joel was in a sack,
He cried and yelled to santa claus,
"Why don’t we just go back?"
And then came christmas morning and much to joel’s surprise,
He saw a boy with the saddest face and tears were in his eyes,
(Tears were in his eyes)

He picked joel up, he held him, he said “you can be my friend”,
(Be my next best friend)
"I would have liked some presents but you’re what santa chose to send",
(Santa chose to send)
"It’s true I’ve been a naughty boy and maybe that’s a sin",
(Maybe that’s a sin)
"But if this is how santa treats the kids, I’m just glad that I’m not him",

Joel, joel, the lump of coal,
Knew what he must do,
He said “now I know the reason why I got sent to you”,
Because when a person hurts inside it turns him hard and cruel,
But I know how to make your pain into a precious jewel,
So take me in your hand, young man, and squeeze with all your might,
Let’s turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright,
Joel, joel, the lump of coal,
He gave his life away,
So one good naughty little boy had a diamond on christmas day.