When James was at the table
I kept on seeing him
Look at me while he was with that other girl
Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?
Because
He was totally texting me
All night last night
And I don't know if it's a booty call or not
So, what, what do you think?
Did, did you think that girl was pretty?

How did that girl even get in here?
Do you see her?
She is so short and that dress is so tacky
Who wears cheetah?

It's not even summer
Why does the Dj keep on playing Summertime Sadness?
After we go to the bathroom
Can we go smoke a cigarette?
I really need one

But first, let me take a selfie

Let me take a selfie

Can you guys help me pick a filter?
I don't know if I should go Xxpro or Valencia
I want to look tan
What should my caption be?
I want it to be clever
How about "living with my bitches, #live"
I only got ten likes in the last five minutes
Do you think I should take it down?
Let me take another selfie

Selfie, selfie
Let me take a selfie

Wait, pause
Jason just liked my selfie
What a creep

Is that guy sleeping over there?
Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on
That's so ratchet
That girl is such a fake model
She definitely bought all her Instagram followers
Who goes out on Mondays?

Okay, let's go take some shots
Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up
Oh wait, nevermind, I'm fine, let's go dance

There's no vodka at this table
Do you know anyone else here?

Oh my god, Jason just texted me
Should I go home with him?

I guess I took a good selfie

Let me take a selfie