I took my brother to the department store,
He wanted to show Santa his Christmas list
He stood in line, and he shook like a leaf,
he's only five and a half goin' on six.
He said:
-Is it really Santa Claus,
is he really, really Santa?
Is that really Santa Claus,
is it really Santa?
Is that really Santa Claus, is it really santa?
(hope he thinks that's Santa Claus)

I picked him up, and put him on Santa's lap,
and then he pulled the pillow out of his shirt.
He yanked the beard right off his chin,
and in his eyes, I could see he was hurt.
He said:
-You're not really Santa Claus,
You're really not Santa!
You're not really Santa Claus,
You're really not Santa!
You're not really Santa Claus, you're really not Santa!
(He's just helping Santa Claus)

(musical interlude)

He's just helping Santa Claus,
He's just helping Santa.
He's helping Santa Claus,
He's just helping Santa.
He's just helping Santa Claus, he's just helping Santa.
(he's just helping Santa Claus)