If you really, really, really, really love me
Then you really, really, really gotta show me
Don't whine when I put it in your booty
Or if I'm up all night playing Call of Duty
Never hassle me, because I'm an unemployed
If I sleep all day don't get annoyed
Then I'll know that you really, really, really
Really, really, really, really love me
If you really, really love me

If you really truly wanna make me feel nice
Make it so, I don't ever have to ask twice
Let me have the keys to your mercedes
Don't get mad when I bring home some ladies
If I get fat and look like an egg
Lie to me and tell me I'm in great shape
Then I'll know that you really, really, really
Really, really, really love me

If you wonder what I did with the rent
Just consider it money well spent
I bought trunks and a new surfboard
To just go tell you dumb landlord
That you love me
Really, really love me

If I have sex with your friend Melanie
Don't act like it's some kind of felony
It's not uncommon for this kind of infidelity
It happens to a lot of guys like Tiger Woods and me
Just be happy that I'm hung like a horse
And you, kitty, to ride the pony of course
'Cause I really, really, really, really
Really, really, really fond of you too

When you think it's really suckie girl
All your friends say you're a lucky girl
Got a man who's hot, you say
All the girls wanna be with me
'Cause they love me
Really, really love me. Yes, they do

If you really, really, really, really, really love me
You never make me hang out with the family
Your mom sucks and your dad really hates me
When I try to borrow money he berates me
Your mom thinks I'm too old for you, 'cause you're 19 and I'm 52
You can't see that you really, really, really
Really, really, really love me.
You really, really, really, really
Really, really, really, really love me
If you really, really love me