You thought you found buried treasure
When you learned to masturbate
No one else could share your pleasure
'Cuz they always come too late

All together now!

People are like TV dinners
Eat them or they'll go to waste
You don't have to like them that much
Just as long as they have taste

All together now!

Here come the bastards
The ones you love to hate
Sharp tongues, stiff drinks
Smoke 'em if ya got 'em
'Cuz tomorrow it could be too late
Too late
Much too late . . . .

If you want to join the party
All you gotta do is breathe
Ya better learn to cut the crap 'n'
shoot your mouth off
'Cuz they love to watch you bleed

All together now!