I rise in the morning, and greet the day
pull out the bike and I’m on my way
The transportation shows I care
Every turn of the pedal – cleans the air
Greener than green, I’m saving the planet
just like my friends Daryl, Sean, Toby and Janet
no greenhouse gas, a tiny carbon footprint up your ass
I’m on a motherfucking bike

Sharing my aggression is what that I do
Every day I’m riding the ‘Tour de Fuck You’
Banging on hoods and kicking in fenders
a right-of-way-aholic on a permanent bender
Running red lights at the fat intersection
Cutout seat protects my erection
You like the bird, in my hand?
Take two from a motherfucking track stand on my bike
I’m on a motherfucking bike
I’m on a motherfucking bike

Skinny-ass pants, the ‘stache is fat
the canvas kicks, the ear-flap hat
Got no gears so you best not dis me
yeah bitch, it’s a motherfuckin fixie
Middle of the street is where you’re gonna find me
a shitload of traffic backed up behind me
Critical Mass is a Facebook “like”
I’m on a motherfucking bike
I’m on a motherfucking bike
(horn and bell solo)