This is gonna be the greatest night
Inviting all your friends and we’re doing it right
We’ll host the best parties, it will be so cool
Wanna party this us?
You better follow the rules

When you plan a party, man, you gotta be smart
Duct tape your fridge and hide the fragiles at the start
Take a look so your Facebook invite is on point
´cause you don´t want douchey dudes all rude in the joint
Slip off your shoes when you slide in the door
Cause want we don’t want dog poo all over the floor
And you better bring your own beer
Cause we´re not freakin'´ rich
Just look at our chair
It’s made o popsicle sticks

This is gonna be the greatest night
We replaced all the booze with diet sprite
Make sure all the dudes are peeing sitting down
No need for pee stains all over the ground…
Now the partys poopin´, gotta get more strict
What the hell did we say dude?
No dicks!!
Beer pongs for flippin´fools; that ball is frickin dirty
You’ll die from meningitis way before you’re even thirty
Who’s that creeper creepin in the corner with Fido?
Get away from Fido you freaky albino
Only use one square on toilet paper
Cause we ain’t made of cash
Just look at our striper
She’s got a flat ass

This is gonna be the greatest night
No spills on the rug, everybody’s polite
Kicking everyone out of our house by 10
If this party well, we might do it again

People still partying? Man, it’s 10:13
Get the fuck out my house, if you know what I mean
Stop banging on my bed
And don’t jack my socks
Gotta rise at five
Serve fries at Jack in the Box
Who got the pesto on my remote control?
My range meter’s rising and about to reach full
And who the fuck threw this garbage in the recycle bin?
I’m gonna kill you motha fuckers if you do it again
Parties aren’t the place to drink booz e and get laid
If at the end we gotta clean up and be maids
Parties aren’t the place for taking selfies
That’s dumb
If you wanted that, you should have thrown your awn one
Parties a ren’t the place where we spend a lot of money
Can’t afford a doctor
And my stools are hecka bloody (strange noise)

This totally was the greatest night
In bed by 10:30 and turned out the lights
Called the cops on our party
Beat the women and men
Can’t wait to have another bomb-ass party again