Cause I feel like killing myself for Christmas
I never got along real well with my mom or dad
Yea I feel like killing myself for Christmas
It'ld be the best, the best, the best christmas they ever had

I could slice my wrist but you know it'll only get real messy
(Look at the mess you made)
I could shoot myself but you know they would never recognize me
(That's not my boy, that's not him)
I can take that mistletoe
And hang myself from the Christmas tree
(That Christmas tree is coming out of your parking money)

Cause I feel like killing myself for Christmas
And before I go, I think I'll unjack them all
And tell all your kids that there's no such thing as Santa
(You know you where an accident, blame your mother)
And before I go, I'll steal your credit cards and max 'em out
Before you know, I'm buying porno
Cause that's all I want anyway

Cause we feel like killing myself for Christmas
We never got along real well with our moms or dads
Yea we feel like killing ourselves for Christmas
It'ld be the best, the best, the best christmas they ever had

Cause we feel like killing myself for Christmas
We never got along real well with our moms or dads
Yea we feel like killing ourselves for Christmas
It'ld be the best, the best, the best
(Merry Christmas)
The best, the best, the best
(Merry Christmas)
The fucking best Christmas they ever had

And die!
(But i don't wanna die, that was last year...)