Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
Everybody was stoned
even the mouse

Man from the courthouse
and me from jail
I just settled down
to get a piece of her tail

When all of a sudden
I heard such a clatter
I tripped on my dick
and busted my bladder!!

I went downstairs
and what did i see?!
A fat little red fagget
hangin from a tree

He stuffed the stockings
with reefers and beer
And a big fat hairy dick
for the family queer

That's the end of my story
Funny wasn't it, ya see?

She didn't even...

She didn't see my thing behind ya
leave ya for this private eye
I was there to give'em near to my
zima zima mommy fah
I'm gonna say this
hope it don't offend ya
came to the grizma
give'em a taste of me
give'em a little excitement to the damn monkey
your monkey can stay with me
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhh ahhhhhhhh

Chevy took my brain
same old motherfucker sucked my dick that day
he will never zima zima
never never not that day
I'm really sick of all this excitement
yeah, but he thinks he's better than me
uma zooma nooga dunga
you can suck my dick all day
one, two, three, four
Santa can suck my dick all day!