Spoken intro]
-Yo Rodney, why these motherf-ckin' DJs don't scratch on these
rap records no more?
-'cause they can't scratch, man. They get up there on stage, man,
act like they gon' scratch, ain't scratchin' nothin' but they ass.
-I guess. ..but what you think I should do, then?
-You first grab the mic and tell them how you feel, then while the
record's goin', just start tearin' up sh-t.
-Right.

[Cue beat]

[Joe Cooley]
I'm, the, DJ's nightmare on that cypher[?]
Turntable black acrobat scratching, ripping
So all you damn DJs, think you can get some
Battle with me, and then you step, you know that's dumb
I got the title round hangin' down on my chest
Lay with that, lick to the Rolex[?]
Next time, but wait, comin' from a different game
Hits comin' out, breakin' you down, givin' you pain
I got my turntable spinnin' in the background
I wanna rip a DJ's ass right now
So that's the fact(?).. step the hell back
I got a green light, n-gga, watch me whack!

[Scratching segment]
(I-am-here-to-raise-some-hell, hell -raise-raise-raise raise some,
hell)

[Rodney O]
You had a DJ's nightmare
You woke up sweatin, huh
Got mad and called Joe a punk, chump
You don't know, so get faded like a haircut
You just move so smooth you bust a nut
So when you go to bed be ready
Joe Cooley's in your dreams like Freddy
You tried to step to Joe like you're a hero
I'll name a movie after you, 'Less Than Zero'
Your DJ struggle and your rapper's name is MC Strain
Rodney O and Joe pullin' sixths of pain[??]
Right now I got your DJ scared
Joe Cooley, show 'em why you give 'em DJ nightmares

[More scratching]
( Yo, hey, hey [x6] )

Stop and stare, if you dare, to be aware
When Joe Cooley's on the table he's the DJ's Nightmare
You better flee the scenes when he comes to town
Master scratcher on display, so gather around
Never known to be a jerk, just known for doin' work
He gives new meaning to the word berserk
Because a blow off, and show off, a move or two
Then he'll stop to sign an autograph when he's through
Killin' off the competition now there ain't nothin' left
Ninja of the tables; DJ of death
In your sleep, you dream of the day you battle
But you choke when you move,
cause you know you got capped, fool

[Beat goes on during conversation]

-Yeah, the 80's was the decade of the DJ, but in the 90's
the DJ done faded. What's up with all that?
-I don't even know, man, these DJs be up on stage now,
and they ain't even doin' nothin' man, they just stage props
or somethin', man, I don't know what the deal is.
-'ey, yo Joe Cooley, show 'em what time it is.
-Yeah.

(Battle anybody [scratched - x8] )

-Yeah, I wanna say what's up to all the top L.A. DJs out there,
DJ Bobcat, wanna say what's up to DJ Aladdin, DJ Trace D(?), wanna
send a shout out to DJ Street, the cross-fade beast, and I wanna send
a shout-out to my homeboy, DJ crew, what's up foo', I wanna send a
shout-out to Tony A, another one to my homeboy Coolio D[?], and my
homeboy, poppin' DJ Train.

[Instrumental till end]