I am not a failure, I played the hand that I was dealt
But every now and then I do pretend that I am someone else
It takes no imagination, just a flick of the remote
Then I am on vacation in a life someone else wrote

Maybe I'm a millionaire, I travel over the world
I'm handsome and respected, I get all those pretty girls
So calm and mysterious, fighting for the greater good
People love and adore me from New York to Hollywood

Well, this may not be the healthiest, I know
But I'm happiest when I exist through my favorite TV shows

I'm a gun fighter, I'm a bull rider
I'm the captain of some pirate ship at sea
For a couple hours I got super powers
Oh my God, I love watching my TV, oh yeah
Oh my God, I love watching my TV

Oh, Betty Draper, I wish my wife was less like you
It gets so hard to take her, she complains the whole day through
And when I get home from working I just hate to hear her speak
But we do spend time together at least three nights a week

We'll watch the one about the family with that great big ole house
Or the one with the detectives who always find the bad guys out
Or the one about the lawyers who make sure that the right guy wins
Or the couple that is still in love and needs never to pretend

Well, no matter what is going on at home
I can always get a smile or two when my favorite show comes on

I'm a gun fighter, I'm a bull rider
I'm the captain of some pirate ship at sea
For a couple hours I got super powers
Oh my God, I love watching my TV, oh yeah
Oh my God, I love watching my TV

God bless you, Walt Disney, you were a father to me
I used to fall asleep with the TV on at night
Through my roughest days you put a smile on my young face
You kept me company when no one else had time

I'm a gun fighter, I'm a bull rider
I'm the captain of some pirate ship at sea
For a couple hours I got super powers
Oh my God, I love watching my TV, oh yeah
Oh my God, I love watching my TV