(Chorus)
When they say every flavour,
They mean every flavour.
Put your hand in,
Who knows what you’re getting,
Bertie Bott’s Every-Flavour beans,
They are a risk with every mouthful.

(Verse 1)
There’s lettuce and onion, and every kind of cheese you’d ever eat,
And some you wouldn’t, and peanut flavour too,
There’s also chips and pizza and earwax flavour.
There’s even something that looks suspiciously like pepper.

Strawberry, and almond; pork and half-baked cake,
There’s also plastic and ink of every kind of colour;
There’s tomato and radish, and egg and grass and watermelon,
Watch out for the brown ones; could be mud, or chocolate too, or even…

(Chorus)

(Verse 2)
There’s flour and carrot (steamed or fried or both)
Or maybe toffee, if you’re lucky, ‘cause the ochre ones could be anything,
There’s gravel and salad, and fish and beef and pasta sauce with bacon and olives, and a cauldron full of frogs eyes.

And there’s liver, and tripe and spice and all things nice,
There’s also rubber, and mint
And the sticky stuff you find at the back of cupboards…

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)

Coleslaw, and cracker and hot waffles with jam
There’s also caviar, and pigeon and peter picked a peck of pickled peppers
And green ones you’d only try if you’re Godric Gryffindor,
With your eyes closed, when you’re much too sick to smell a thing,

And cocoa, and milk and chile sauce and Branston pickle,
You could try that grey one,
But rather you than me ‘cause I’m a Slytherin…

(Chorus x3)