Poor little fake plant, on the windowsill
Sad because you have no chlorophyll
So in the sun, you always tend to cry
Because you cannot photosynthesize

Poor little fake plant, you never were a seed
You came straight out of the factory
Your stem, your leaves, all petroleum derived
You’ll never grow; you’ll always be that size

You see the other plants around the room
They get watered, fertilized and pruned
But you just get a dusting now and then
Oh how you wish that you were one of them

It’s not just the attention that you crave
But having your own code of DNA
And feeling like your life is not a sham
Earning that certain self-respect that you don’t have

But hey little fake plant, don’t be so distraught
Just remember you’ll outlive 'em all
Or should I say you’ll last a longer time
Because, well technically, you’re not alive

Still you do look perfect to be sure
And your beauty always will endure
Yes, in so many ways you are ideal
Except of course for the fact that you’re not real

Nonetheless, you bring lots of joy
When we pretend that you’re the real McCoy
So cheer up fake plant, look on the bright side
If you’re not living then, hey, you’ll never die