I'm not one of those tall thin men who likes showtunes
I'm not that twee
Carousel is, Les Mis as well is
A living hell for me

Cause I'm not one of those tall thin men who likes showtunes
On the western stage
Ute Lemper puts me in a temper
And so does Elaine Flaming Paige

I would rather go clubbing
Than sit through Phantom or Cats
They're so sad, I get mad
And never ever wanna listen to Madonna

Singing "Don't cry for me Argentina"
Give me "Get Into The Groove"
So house or garage, a banging barrage
Of mixing to make me move

Cause I'm a type of a tall thin man who likes no tunes
When I get on one
And in a coma, Oklahoma
Is still too bloody long

I would pay a fine not to stand in line
Just to see Miss Saigon