I got to Kansas City on a Firday
By Saturday I learned a thing or two
Cuz up to then I didn't have an idy
Of whut the modern world was comin' to!

I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by their sels
Almost every time I took a walk
Then I put my ear to a bell telephone
And a strange woman started in to talk

To you?

What next?

Yeah what?

What next?
Gather round!

Everythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they can go
They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high
About as high as a buildin' oughta grow
Everythin's like a dream in Kansas City
It's better than a magic lantren show
You can turn the radiator on
Whenever you want some heat
With every kind of comfort
Every house is all complete
You can walk to privies in the rain
And never wet your feet!
They've gone about as fur as they can go

Yes sir!
They've gone about as fur as they can go

Everythin's up to date in Kansas City
They've gone about as fur as they can go
They've got a big theyater they call a burleeque
For fifty cents you can see a dandy show

Gals?

One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty
As round above as she was round below
I could swear that she was padded
From her shoulder to her heel
But latter in the second act
When she began to peel
She proved that everyhin' she had was absolutely real!
She went about as fur as she can go

Yes sir!
She went about as fur as she can go!