He Was a Professional Newton Faulkner He was a professional dog food taster
But no one would believe him
They thought he might be a spy
But in reality he was quite boring
He worked for all the major companies
He worked his way up the dog food chain
He was a professional

He worked so hard
He never found the time for friends
He never socialised
He felt so alone 'cause when he talked about his job
People though he told them lies
Nobody could believe

He was a professional dog food taster
But no-one would believe him
They thought he might be a spy
But in reality he was quite boring
He worked for all the major companies
He worked his way up the dog food chain
He was a professional

One day cross the bar
He caught the eye of a girl he did not recognise
When he asked her what she did for work
Well the answer came as a very big surprise
It was hard to believe

She was a professional dog food taster
She totally believed him
People thought she might be a spy
But in reality she was quite boring
She worked for all the major companies
She worked her way up the dog food chain
She was a professional

They fell in love and love is all they ever wanted
They're the same, no-one could believe
They bought a big house in country for the kids
And they they opened their own dog food factory

They were both professional dog food tasters
But no-one would believe them
People thought they might both be spies
But in reality they were quite boring
They worked for all the major companies
They worked their way up the dog food chain