Help me, help me, tell me what is wrong
Is this feeling common or am I the only one
Help me, help me, whenever I go out
To dance and to enjoy myself they think I need a guy

First this boy turned up, didn't say a word
He just sat and stared, oh did he get on my nerves
Then a fellow came, such a gorgeous guy
With an empty brain, so I told him with a smile
Nice to see you, take a hike

REF: There is No Romance when you ask me for my number
Just a one-night stand, I don't need it now
There is No Romance,where's the gentleman I wonder?
I just wanna dance, I intend to stay alone
Even when I'm walking home

When my, when my friends get up and dance
That is when the drunk obnoxious guys take a chance
Help me, help me, I'm looking for a guy
Who knows how to treat, how to treat me right

First this man turned up with a nasty smell
And the second guy, what he was I couldn't tell
Then a boy turned up with a dirty mind
And another one smelled of yesterday's wine
How I hate the smell of it

REF: There is No Romance when you....

Rudolph Valentino and all those other stars
They're the kind of men that I can't resist
Tell me do those men really not exist
Help me, help me, tell me where's the passion
Oh, is it all old-fashioned

REF: There is No Romance when you....