When I was 17, I wished I was 23,
When I hit 23, I wished I was 17,
Now I'm almost 29, I wish I was 85,
It would be statistically unlikely you'd be alive

Because I hate your guts,
Shit I hate you so much,
I hope you suffer a small paper cut,
I hope your boss makes you stay for a half hour more,
Because I hate your guts,
And I wish I didn't love you anymore.

I hate the way you breathe,
The stupid way you sneeze,
How does everything you eat,
End up stuck in your teeth?
The way you steal the sheets,
When we go to bed,
As I guessed they're a hole in the back of your head.

Because I hate your guts,
Shit I hate you so much,
I hope the battery dies on your phone,
I hope your favourite TV show fails to record,
Because I hate your guts,
And I wish I didn't love you anymore.

Wish I didn't love you [woah]
Wish I didn't love you[woah]
Wish I didn't love you [woooaaah]

I hope when I'm out on tour,
You lose your keys to the door,
Because I hate your guts,
And I wish I didn't love you anymore.

Wish I didn't love you [woah]
Wish I didn't love you[woah]
Wish I didn't love you [woooaaah]

So you must be mistaken,
If you want to date me,
You'd be more respected,
If you were to hate me,
There's so many warnings
You choose to ignoreee...

Because I hate your guts,
And I wish I didn't love you anymore...

I hate your guts!