There's a lot of you about at the moment
Is there anything that you will not endorse?
Every time I see your face before me
It reminds me that we once had intercourse
And I can see the single bed where we lay tangled
Our hands, our limbs, our bodies intertwined
I still have the book that you once gave me
It's a shame perhaps that I never got it signed

My mother always calls when you're on TV
Yes, and this was charming long ago
Back when we would pull off of the highway
Just to hear you on the radio
And I recall the last time that I saw you
We were going to lead such different lives
Yes, and it was me who sent you packing
For the woman who til lately was my wife

And I loved you in the remake of Rear Window
A film we saw in 1983
Then it was James Stewart and Grace Kelly
Now it's me and you on my TV

So thank me when you're holding up the Oscar
I'll never sell your story to the press
Though sometimes when I'm feeling broke and hopeless
I'm tempted by the money, I'll confess
And I wish you very well in your career
Just as I wished you very well in bed
And if you ever need some soundtrack music
I write that shit standing on my head

And I loved you in the remake of Rear Window
A film we saw in 1983
Then it was James Stewart and Grace Kelly
Now it's me and you on my TV