Gonna tell you a story that you won't believe
But I fell in love last Friday evenin'
With a girl I saw on a bar room TV screen
Well I was just gettin' ready to get my hat
When she caught my eye and I put it back
And I ordered myself a couple o' more shots and beers

The night (you know) that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
(Round 'n' round, oh round 'n' round)
The meanest hunk o' woman
That anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

She is a five foot six and two fifteen
A bleached-blonde mama with a streak of mean
She knew how to knuckle
And she knew how to scuffle and fight
And the roller derby program said
That she were built like a 'fridgerator with a head
The fans called her "Tuffy"
But all her buddies called her "Spike"

Round 'n' round, go round 'n' round (3 x's)

Well I could not help it but to fall in love
With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin' of
Things looked kind of bad
Until the day she skated into my life

Well she might be nasty she might be fat
But I never met a person who would tell her that
She's my big blonde bomber
My heavy handed Hackensack mama

Round 'n' round, go round 'n' round (3 x's)