I got my brain in a jar in the closet in the dark
I don't ever use it anyway
Don't think about nothing, cause kissing and hugging
Is all I want to do these days
They oughta make a plan, get a research grant
And study me around the world
I know it's bizarre, got my brain in a jar
Ever since I learned about girls

It was a stormy night in Georgia when I was born
Daddy's greatest expectations in bodily form
Teacher said I had the brightest future she'd ever seen
But their hopes all ended the day I turned fourteen

I got my brain in a jar in the closet in the dark
I don't ever use it anyway
Don't think about nothing, cause kissing and hugging
Is all I want to do these days
They oughta make a plan, get a research grant
And study me around the world
I know it's bizarre, got my brain in a jar
Ever since I learned about girls

Momma called the state hospital to send a doctor down
She said doctor all he ever does is follow girls around
Well they looked inside my head and what'cha think they saw
Doctor said there ain't nothing in here at all

I got my brain in a jar in the closet in the dark
I don't ever use it anyway
Don't think about nothing, cause kissing and hugging
Is all I want to do these days
They oughta make a plan, get a research grant
And study me around the world
I know it's bizarre, got my brain in a jar
Ever since I learned about girls

I know it's bizarre, got my brain in a jar