Ho, ho, ho, so many christmas letters
So many wishes, Lucy wants a squeezy doll
Jimmy wants a moon rocket
This lists rather long

Hey now Santa I'm writin
To you 'cos theres a lotta cool shit I want
I know I been naughty but cut me some slack
Cos theres a lotta cool shit I want

So heres my list, so take its advice
I want a solid gold Hollywood
Machine gun from the front
I want a multi couloured lunch box
Filled with sticky buns

I wanna see through jump suit that fits me tight
I want all of the Beatle's copyrights
I wanna drop Florida off the map
I wnat Pamela Anderson's

Hey now Santa that's my Christmas list
Thats all the cool shit I want
But wait a minute Santa theres some things I missed
Theres still a lotta cool shit I want
So heres my list, take it's advice

I want a time machine and a bleeping gun
I want a statue of Moby on the surface of the sun
I want to party naked on a school bus full o' nuns
I want a bumper pool table and a robot

There you go Santa I'm sure you'll agree
That there's a lotta cool shit I want
I know I been naughty but I garuntee
You that I deserve every single one

So take my list, take it's advice
I know I been naughty
But life ain't nice
P.S.: I still a need some more shit

I want a diamond hyena shootin fire from his butt
I want a cannibal chef to cook me sweet and sour butt
I want a magical slave thats pulled by flying stones
I want, look at all the cool shit I want