300 BPS, N, 8, 1 300 BPS, N, 8, 1 300 BPS, 8, N, 1 ATZ ATZ 300 BPS, 8, N, 1 OK OK ATZ ATX3DT ATX3DT OK CONNECT 300 CONNECT 300 ATX3DT So we're supposed to play in Curitiba in 18 hours, but our bus is being held hostage by the local promoters. They've formed some unholy alliance with the Brazilian counterpart of ASCAP: The PRS. Apparently the PRS has the legal power to arrest people, and they want a piece of the national tour promoter's money. The local security force, "Gang Mexicana", has been bought out for 1800 Cruzados and a carton of Marlboros each. The only faction still operating in our defense is "Big John", our personal security man, and he's hiding in his room because a local gang is out for his blood because of a 1982 knifing incident in which he was involved. Our 345-pound road manager, Rick only had this to say: "You wanted the life of a rock star!". Paul, Jim and I realized that this was one situation we were going to have to get out of ourselves. So we're supposed to play in Curitiba in 18 hours, but our bus is being held hostage by the local promoters. They've formed some unholy alliance with the Brazilian counterpart of ASCAP: The PRS. Apparently the PRS has the legal power to arrest people, and they want a piece of the national tour promoter's money. The local security force, "Gang Mexicana", has been bought out for 1800 Cruzados and a carton of Marlboros each. The only faction still operating in our defense is "Big John", our personal security man, and he's hiding in his room because a local gang is out for his blood because of a 1982 knifing incident in which he was involved. Our 345-pound road manager, Rick only had this to say: "You wanted the life of a rock star!". Paul, Jim and I realized that this was one situation we were going to have to get out of ourselves. CONNECT 300 We convened a hasty conference in the hotel lobby. Paul suggested contacting our national tour promoter in Sao Paulo, but we remembered that he was in Recife with Faith No More, who had just arrived for their Brazilian tour. We thought about contacting our Brazilian record company in Rio, but they weren't home. Our ever-diligent American manager was arranging help of numerous forms, but he was in New York, and just too far away to get anything moving in time. We convened a hasty conference in the hotel lobby. Paul suggested contacting our national tour promoter in Sao Paulo, but we remembered that he was in Recife with Faith No More, who had just arrived for their Brazilian tour. We thought about contacting our Brazilian record company in Rio, but they weren't home. Our ever-diligent American manager was arranging help of numerous forms, but he was in New York, and just too far away to get anything moving in time. Nós iríamos tocar em Curitiba dentro de 18 horas, mas nosso ônibus estava preso pelos promotores locais. Nós formamos uma aliança incerta com a contraparte brasileira do ASCAP: os PRS. Aparentemente os PRS tem o poder legal de prender pessoas, e eles queriam uma parte do dinheiro dos promotores da tour nacional. A segurança local, "Gang Mexicana", foi contratada por cerca de 1800 cruzados e uma caixa de cigarros Marlboro para cada um dos seguranças. A única facção que ainda operava em nossa defesa era o "Big John", nosso segurança pessoal, e ele estava se escondendo em seu quarto, pois a segurança local estava querendo seu sangue, devido a um incidente com uma faca em 1982 no qual ele estava envolvido. Nosso guia da estrada com 345 pounds, Rick, apenas tinha isso a dizer: "Vocês queriam uma vida de estrela do rock!". Paul, Jim e eu percebemos que esta foi uma situação onde nós tinhamos que nos virar por nós mesmos. And there were 6000 kids in Curitiba who just wouldn't understand. And there were 6000 kids in Curitiba who just wouldn't understand. Nós nos reunimos numa rápida reunião na entrada do hotel. Paul sugeriu contactar nosso promotor da turnê em São Paulo, mas lembramos que ele estava no Recife com a banda Faith No More, que tinha acabado de chegar para sua turnê brasileira. Nós pensamos em contactar nossa gravadora brasileira no Rio, mas eles não estavam no local. Nosso sempre zeloso produtor americano de longa data estava procurando ajuda de diversas formas, mas ele estava em Nova York, e muito longe para conseguir algo concreto em pouco tempo. We knew it was time for action. Paul went up to the PRS guys and invited them into the bar to discuss it like civilized men over a few Brazilian drinks, offering each of them a cigar on his way. The amused PRS heavies seemed to like the idea of a few free drinks, even if they knew they would never give us our bus back. When Paul winked at Jim and I on his way in, we went into action. We knew it was time for action. Paul went up to the PRS guys and invited them into the bar to discuss it like civilized men over a few Brazilian drinks, offering each of them a cigar on his way. The amused PRS heavies seemed to like the idea of a few free drinks, even if they knew they would never give us our bus back. When Paul winked at Jim and I on his way in, we went into action. E havia cerca de 6000 pessoas em Curitiba que simplesmente não iriam entender.Nós sabíamos que estava na hora de agir. Paul foi até os PRS e convidou-os para irem ao bar e discutir o assunto como homens civilizados durante alguns drinks brasileiros, oferencendo para cada um deles um cigarro durante o caminho. Os divertidos PRS fortões pareciam gostar da idéia de alguns drinks gratuitos, mesmo sabendo que eles nunca nos dariam o nosso ônibus de volta. Quando Paul piscou para Jim e para mim no caminho, nós entramos em ação. I stole off to my room to prepare while Jim went into action. Creeping carefully through a service duct, he managed to gain a vantage point some three meters above the bus, and dropped carefully onto the roof. After using his all-purpose Swiss Army knife (affectionately known as the "skit knife") to jimmy open the roof hatch, he went through the darkened inside of the bus and removed the inside engine service panel. Using some spare electronic parts he found while on an island in the Amazon, he wired the entire bus for remote control, not unlike a remote control toy car. I stole off to my room to prepare while Jim went into action. Creeping carefully through a service duct, he managed to gain a vantage point some three meters above the bus, and dropped carefully onto the roof. After using his all-purpose Swiss Army knife (affectionately known as the "skit knife") to jimmy open the roof hatch, he went through the darkened inside of the bus and removed the inside engine service panel. Using some spare electronic parts he found while on an island in the Amazon, he wired the entire bus for remote control, not unlike a remote control toy car. Eu saí as escondidas para o meu quarto afim de preparar Jim para a ação. Movendo-se lentamente através de um duto de serviço, ele conseguiu ganhar acesso a um ponto distante três metros do ônibus, e entrou sorrateiramente pelo teto. Depois de usar seu canivete suíço de múltiplas funções (carinhosamente conhecida por "faca engraçada") para abrir o fino teto, ele entrou através escuro lado interior do ônibus e removeu a tampa interna do painél de manutenção. Utilizando algumas peças eletrônicas sobressalentes que encontrou em uma ilha na Amazônia, ele ligou todo o ônibus por controle remoto, não como um controle remote de carrinho de brinquedo. At this point, he asked himself "Now how shall I get out of here?!?" At this point, he asked himself "Now how shall I get out of here?!?" Neste ponto, ele se perguntou: "Agora como eu devo cair fora daqui?!?" Paul was having difficulties of his own. Paul was having difficulties of his own. Paul estava tendo suas próprias dificuldades também. "Couldn't you see your way clear to letting us fulfill our contractual obligations in Curitiba? Think of the kids!" "Couldn't you see your way clear to letting us fulfill our contractual obligations in Curitiba? Think of the kids!" "Você não pode deixar nosso caminho livre para que possamos cumprir com nossas obrigações contratuais em Curitiba? Pense nos garotos!" Through our translator, Fabio, the PRS man, Aldo, said: Through our translator, Fabio, the PRS man, Aldo, said: Através de nosso tradutor, Fábio, o homen da PRS, Aldo, disse:"Não. Vocês americanos acham que dominam o mundo. Hah! Nós iremos queimar nossa floresta tropical se nós quisermos. Nós precisamos espaço para as vacas! Nós queremos um McDonalds em cada... oh, desculpa, de qualquer forma, não. Nós precisamos de 40% da renda de seu show para dar ao David Bowie.", disse ele, piscando para o promotor local, Phillipe. "No. You Americans think you own the world. Hah! We'll burn down our rain forest if we damn well please. We need room for cows!! We want a McDonald's on every... oh, sorry, yes anyway, no. We need 40% of your concert receipts to give to David Bowie," he said, winking to the local promoter, Phillipe. "No. You Americans think you own the world. Hah! We'll burn down our rain forest if we damn well please. We need room for cows!! We want a McDonald's on every... oh, sorry, yes anyway, no. We need 40% of your concert receipts to give to David Bowie," he said, winking to the local promoter, Phillipe. Enquanto Paul continuava aquela distração planejada, Jim efetuava uma fuga do ônibus muito protegido rastejando pelo porta malas, fazendo um buraco em arco no chão com o canivete suíço escapando pela portinhola situada no final do ônibus, e andando até o porão do hotel dali. Jim me chamou no meu quarto e me deu um sinal. Nós estávamos indo agora encontrar a saída dos fundos, com nossos técnicos. Mas primeiro, Paul precisaria alguma ajuda para se livrar dos convidados indesejáveis, foi quando as coisas começaram a ficar ruins. As Paul continuted this elaborate distraction, Jim effected an escape from the heavily guarded bus by crawling down into the cargo bay, cutting a hole in the floor with the Swiss Army knife's arc-welder, slipping into the manhole cover situated under the bus, and walking up to the hotel's basement from there. Jim called up to me in my room and gave the signal. We were now to meet at the back entrance, with our tech guys. But first, Paul would need some help getting away from his unwelcome guests, as things were getting ugly. As Paul continuted this elaborate distraction, Jim effected an escape from the heavily guarded bus by crawling down into the cargo bay, cutting a hole in the floor with the Swiss Army knife's arc-welder, slipping into the manhole cover situated under the bus, and walking up to the hotel's basement from there. Jim called up to me in my room and gave the signal. We were now to meet at the back entrance, with our tech guys. But first, Paul would need some help getting away from his unwelcome guests, as things were getting ugly. "Ele disse que tinha perdido a paciência, e que poderia pensar em outras maneiras de extrair o dinheiro de você Kurt, e do Jim fisicamente", disse nosso trêmulo intérprete.O momento tinha chegado. Jim começou operando o ônibus de seu ponto estratégico no fundo do ônibus. Com o ônibus controlado remotamente deu uma guinada em direção à saída do estacionamento. O jovem e supersticioso segurança ficou aterrorizado. Paul estava empurrando ansiosamente seu colarinho quando o homem do PRS começou a descrever sua coleção de facas cerimoniais nazistas da II Guerra Mundial, e então uma batida repentina dividiu a mesa em dois. "He says he has lost his patience, and that he can think of other ways of extracting payment from you Kurt and Jim physically," our trembling interpreter said. "He says he has lost his patience, and that he can think of other ways of extracting payment from you Kurt and Jim physically," our trembling interpreter said. Jim tinha me comprado de presente um equipamento completo de um assassino secreto ninja em Aracajú. Eu estava me movendo e me rastejando pelos dutos de ar condicionado o tempo todo. Tão logo eu me deparei com uma imitação barata de um teto de cerâmica Styrofoam. Patinando primeiro, eu atirei todas as estrelas de ninja neles. No pânico resultante, Paul escapou para o ponto de encontro pré-marcado no ônibus. Infelizmente, meus patins tinham pouca chance de se movimentarem para escapar por cima dos vidros quebrados da mesa que eu tinha caído em cima. Se não fosse pela confusão e pelas feridas provocadas pelas estrelas de ninja lançadas pelos homens maus, eu teria caído enquanto me debatia no tapete com vidro espalhado. Como isso aconteceu, entretanto, eu saltei pela porta aberta do ônibus de bagagem, enquanto me afastava da cidade de Maringá para sempre. The moment had come. Jim began operating the bus from his back entrance vantage point. As the remote-controlled bus lurched towards the parking lot exit, the superstitious security youths fled in terror. Paul was pulling anxiously on his collar as the PRS man began describing his collection of World War II Nazi ceremonial knives when a sudden crash split the tableau. The moment had come. Jim began operating the bus from his back entrance vantage point. As the remote-controlled bus lurched towards the parking lot exit, the superstitious security youths fled in terror. Paul was pulling anxiously on his collar as the PRS man began describing his collection of World War II Nazi ceremonial knives when a sudden crash split the tableau. Se pelo menos nós tivéssemos conseguido pegar nosso equipamento no ônibus, também... Jim had purchased me the gift of a complete black ninja stealth assassin outfit in Aracaju. I had been gearing up and crawling through the air conditioning ducts all this time. As I crashed through the cheap imitation-Styrofoam hung ceiling tiles, skates first, I flashed ninja stars all about me. In the ensuing panic, Paul escaped to the pre-arranged bus pick-up point. Unfortunately, my skates were a poor choice of foot gear for escaping over the broken glass of the table I had landed on. Were it not for the confusion and the ninja-star-inflicted-wounds delivered to the bad guys, I would have been set upon while floundering on the glass-strewn carpet. As it happened, however, I leapt through the open door of the careening bus as it departed the city of Maringa forever. Jim had purchased me the gift of a complete black ninja stealth assassin outfit in Aracaju. I had been gearing up and crawling through the air conditioning ducts all this time. As I crashed through the cheap imitation-Styrofoam hung ceiling tiles, skates first, I flashed ninja stars all about me. In the ensuing panic, Paul escaped to the pre-arranged bus pick-up point. Unfortunately, my skates were a poor choice of foot gear for escaping over the broken glass of the table I had landed on. Were it not for the confusion and the ninja-star-inflicted-wounds delivered to the bad guys, I would have been set upon while floundering on the glass-strewn carpet. As it happened, however, I leapt through the open door of the careening bus as it departed the city of Maringa forever. Cada palavra dessa história é verdadeira. If only we had managed to get our equipment in the bus, too . . . If only we had managed to get our equipment in the bus, too . . . - Kurt H Every word of this story is true. Every word of this story is true. NO CARRIER - Kurt H - Kurt H ATH0 NO CARRIER NO CARRIER OK ATH0 ATH0 ATZ OK OK OK ATZ ATZ OK OK undefined