See a shiny silver keg, it's as big as a whale!
And it's full of Bass Ale!
Some sorority girls, yeah, I count about 20!
So come on! And don't bring any beer money!

Well 5:00 and the weekend's in sight.
But what's to do on a Thursday night?
16 skins and a broken down car.
No booze, no girls, no money for the bar.
When down the street walk a couple of chaps,
with little Greek letters on their baseball caps.
Yappin' and flappin' 'bout the party going down.
Oh that's right, this is a college town!

An end to our frustration!
Don't need an invitation!

So with street under boot, we're hot in pursuit,
and set upon the village set to pillage and loot.
Big, Greek letters hanging over the door.
Fools behind it don't know what's in store.
We roll through the door, and ain't that a bitch:
A forest full of Gap and Abercrombie & Fitch!
But no one says a thing to us, perhaps out of fear.
So half of us go for the girls, the rest go for the bseer.

Don't mind the staring faces!
We've found our beer oasis!

Just look the other way...
...when we enter the door and empty your keg!
...when my hand is sliding up your girlfriend's leg!
...your beer or your life, we're not too demanding!
...and at the end of the night you'll still be standing!

As the night moves along, the beer flows strong.
There's low-cut jeans and high-jacked thongs.
Street battle stories told loud and proud,
from sloppy, drunken mouths to a captive crowd.
Frat boys challenge us to drinking games.
We rise to the occasion and we put 'em all to shame.
No "chug! chug! chug!" for the neighborhood thugs.
So put away your dixie cup, we brought our gallon jugs!

A thaw in our relations!
Made through inebriation!

We came! We saw! We drank! We flirted!
Now the beer is gone the place will be deserted!
Thanks from the bottom of our beer guts.
We're going back to Welton Street to sit on our butts.
And if a few Theta girls come with us,
no need to make a fight, no need to make a fuss.
You'll know where to find 'em at half-past-two:
on the walk-of-shame home from the neighborhood crew!

Got just what we were needing!
And until our next meeting...