Chorus:
Dee-goo-pee-oo-poo
Ta-dan!

Bad Conscience:
Does this kind of life look interesting to you?
Night after night, dinners with Herb Cohen,
Thrill-packed, fun-filled evenings on the French
Riviera at the MIDEM convention
A big tie, the whole bit
Watch Mutt eat, and Leon feed the geese
One thousand green business cards
With your name and the wrong address
Plus six royalty statements
Inspected and customized
By ran toon tan han toon frammet and dee
Followed by twelve potential suicides
As the members of your group, past and present
Find out they can't collect unemployment...
A dog, a car, an epidemic of body lice
With your own record company
Your name on the door
Electric buzzer to the inner office
And Ona's tits
And a three month supply of German bookings
With tickets on Air Rangoon...
Does this kind of life look interesting to you?
As a big rock'n'roll guitar player
In a comedy group?

Jeff & Chorus:

200 motels
200 motels
200 motels

I'm stealing the room!
I'm stealing the room!
I'm stealing the room!

Sopranos:

Stealing the room
Stealing the sink.
Stealing the room
Stealing
Stealing the room
Stealing the
Room
I

Tenors & Sopranos:

I, I'm, I am
Stealing
I am stealing
Stealing
I'm, I'm
Stealing