Put the gun to your head. Now pull the trigger. Do you think if you were dead, that you'd feel better? I know of millions who would kill to fill your shoes. An endless list of names who know real pain and abuse. But you're convinced that you're a wreck. Your life's a mess you just can't fix.
It seems you'd rather give up than try. Fuck the effort.
Just lay down and die. Is this your emo solution? You've given in to depression and delusion. You'd like to think that you're the only one who has ever hurt. But we've all had sand thrown in our face and received a mouth full of dirt.
So climb on out of your rut, or get buried alive. Because you don't deserve to live if you won't save your own life.