Jumped out of the second floor of a record store Jumped out of the second floor of a record store campanha Speech With a Treacherous Four cassette and a cassette recorder With a Treacherous Four cassette and a cassette recorder In Ecuador with Edward Norton In Ecuador with Edward Norton Witness the metamorphosis Witness the metamorphosis Of a legend growin' like an expert swordsman Of a legend growin' like an expert swordsman From the Hessian War and From the Hessian War and Hence the origin of the Headless Horseman Hence the origin of the Headless Horseman Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan Endless sores and reservoir Endless sores and reservoir Of extension cords in dresser drawers Of extension cords in dresser drawers And deadbolts on the bedroom doors And deadbolts on the bedroom doors And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin Excellent boyfriend Excellent boyfriend Use intercourse to settle scores Use intercourse to settle scores With women who have been vendettas towards men With women who have been vendettas towards men Dickhead is forced in and the shredded foreskin Dickhead is forced in and the shredded foreskin Red is torn and they're only bein' fed a portion Red is torn and they're only bein' fed a portion Bed sores in sore shins Bed sores in sore shins Pregnant whores can get abortions Pregnant whores can get abortions Fetish for stickin' metal forks in, self-absorption Fetish for stickin' metal forks in, self-absorption Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor A predator, I'm headed for competitors A predator, I'm headed for competitors Better warn 'em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals Better warn 'em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store Stegosaurus, Chuck Norris with a thesaurus Stegosaurus, Chuck Norris with a thesaurus Yes, of course, I mess up once Yes, of course, I mess up once You want some? Come and get some, boys! You want some? Come and get some, boys! I'm givin' Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course I'm givin' Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course On excessive force and pressure points On excessive force and pressure points And dressin' George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange And dressin' George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange Dress and four inch heels to address the court Dress and four inch heels to address the court With a bullseye on his back, his whole chest and torso With a bullseye on his back, his whole chest and torso Are left on the doorsteps of Trayvon's dad as a present for him Are left on the doorsteps of Trayvon's dad as a present for him In my present form I'm Desert Storm In my present form I'm Desert Storm Appetite for destruction is no suppressant for Appetite for destruction is no suppressant for Aggressive, forceful, and less remorseful in every morsel Aggressive, forceful, and less remorseful in every morsel Unpleasant, horrible; hello, gorgeous! Unpleasant, horrible; hello, gorgeous! The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus Met a contortionist, said, When you wanna get sexual? Met a contortionist, said, When you wanna get sexual? She said, However I fit in your schedule. I'm flexible She said, However I fit in your schedule. I'm flexible Expired tags on the Saturn, got Catherine Bach Expired tags on the Saturn, got Catherine Bach In the back in Daisy Dukes with the hazards on In the back in Daisy Dukes with the hazards on At a traffic stop gettin' harassed, sign an autograph At a traffic stop gettin' harassed, sign an autograph For this asshole cop's daughter For this asshole cop's daughter Laugh 'cause I called her a brat on it Laugh 'cause I called her a brat on it He spat on it and brought it back lookin' half in shock He spat on it and brought it back lookin' half in shock Had a heart attack and dropped dead Had a heart attack and dropped dead Started fallin' back with it Started fallin' back with it And got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock And got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch Crack for an axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff Crack for an axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff Pulled Tabasco sauce out of my satchel Pulled Tabasco sauce out of my satchel Knocked over a fisherman's tackle box and [crash sound] Knocked over a fisherman's tackle box and [crash sound] Asked if they had a laugh in stock Asked if they had a laugh in stock That was fuckin' stupid That was fuckin' stupid You got it twisted, all 'cause I offered this bitch You got it twisted, all 'cause I offered this bitch A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic Bitch, get to massagin' this dick! Bitch, get to massagin' this dick! Like spas in this bitch, slob on it, with gobs of lipstick Like spas in this bitch, slob on it, with gobs of lipstick Got a shoppin' list for you to run some odds and ends with Got a shoppin' list for you to run some odds and ends with It's not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with It's not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with She's non-existent She's non-existent Robin Thicke with a throbbin' dick on some swab and slick shit Robin Thicke with a throbbin' dick on some swab and slick shit But I shout derogatives at bitches like fuckin' missile launches But I shout derogatives at bitches like fuckin' missile launches Misfit, blond and nitwit Misfit, blond and nitwit Like I've gone ballistic, with a frostin' tip kit Like I've gone ballistic, with a frostin' tip kit Screamed: I hate blondes!, and became one, I'm optimistic Screamed: I hate blondes!, and became one, I'm optimistic Love to start shit Love to start shit Shovin' Clark Kent's undergarments in the glove compartment Shovin' Clark Kent's undergarments in the glove compartment Of the bucket, bumpin' Bubba Sparxxx Of the bucket, bumpin' Bubba Sparxxx I'm double parkin' up at Targets, trouble 'cause a double cross I'm double parkin' up at Targets, trouble 'cause a double cross The shadiest mothafucka you'll ever come across The shadiest mothafucka you'll ever come across Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults A couple lawsuits, enough to cause a stomach ulcer A couple lawsuits, enough to cause a stomach ulcer Same damn brain scan results as Rainman's is Same damn brain scan results as Rainman's is Something's awful when Dustin Hoffman's Something's awful when Dustin Hoffman's Dressin' up in your mummy costume Dressin' up in your mummy costume On stage dancin' to Brain Damage, what's the problem? On stage dancin' to Brain Damage, what's the problem? Nothing's wrong, the name brand is back to reclaim status Nothing's wrong, the name brand is back to reclaim status Run the faucet, I'ma dunk Run the faucet, I'ma dunk A bunch of Trump supporters underwater A bunch of Trump supporters underwater Snuck up on 'em in Ray Bans in a gray van with a spray tan Snuck up on 'em in Ray Bans in a gray van with a spray tan It's a wrap, like an Ace bandage It's a wrap, like an Ace bandage Don't-give-a-fuck persona, to my last DNA strand Don't-give-a-fuck persona, to my last DNA strand E&J in the waistband, at the VMAs with the stagehand E&J in the waistband, at the VMAs with the stagehand She wants kielbasa, pre-arrange an escape plan She wants kielbasa, pre-arrange an escape plan Three-inch blade on point, like a See-and-Say Three-inch blade on point, like a See-and-Say Consider me a dangerous man Consider me a dangerous man But you should be afraid of this dang candidate But you should be afraid of this dang candidate You say Trump don't kiss ass like a puppet You say Trump don't kiss ass like a puppet 'Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin' 'Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin' And that's what you wanted And that's what you wanted A fuckin' loose cannon who's blunt with his hand on the button A fuckin' loose cannon who's blunt with his hand on the button Who doesn't have to answer to no one (great idea!) Who doesn't have to answer to no one (great idea!) If I was president, gettin' off is If I was president, gettin' off is The first order of business once I get in office The first order of business once I get in office Second thing that'll make me happy's walkin' up to Uncle Sam Second thing that'll make me happy's walkin' up to Uncle Sam Naked, laughing, dick cupped in hand Naked, laughing, dick cupped in hand Screaming: Fuck safe sex! Screaming: Fuck safe sex! Throw a latex and an AIDS test at him Throw a latex and an AIDS test at him Tell Congress I run this land Tell Congress I run this land And I want the rubber banned, and make it snappy And I want the rubber banned, and make it snappy Addiction to friction and static Addiction to friction and static Addict who can't escape the habit Addict who can't escape the habit It's in you to chase the dragon It's in you to chase the dragon But as fate would have it, I walked up in major Magics But as fate would have it, I walked up in major Magics Dressed as the maintenance man Dressed as the maintenance man In a laser tag vest and a racin' jacket, with a gauge to blast it In a laser tag vest and a racin' jacket, with a gauge to blast it And sped away in the station wagon And sped away in the station wagon Stacey Dash's and Casey Anthony's Stacey Dash's and Casey Anthony's Crazy asses in the backseat Crazy asses in the backseat Throwin' Stay-Free pads at me Throwin' Stay-Free pads at me Dead passenger in the passenger seat Dead passenger in the passenger seat Unfasten the safety latches Unfasten the safety latches And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires Finna get a murder case and catch it Finna get a murder case and catch it Like you threw it at me encased in plastic Like you threw it at me encased in plastic And send Dylan Roof through the windshield of the Benz And send Dylan Roof through the windshield of the Benz Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin' Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin' Like a windmill with a thin bill while his skin's peelin' Like a windmill with a thin bill while his skin's peelin' And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder Knock it into the upper peninsula Knock it into the upper peninsula You want to go against zilla? The Rap God You want to go against zilla? The Rap God When will I quit? Never been realer When will I quit? Never been realer The in-stiller of fear, not even a scintilla of doubt The in-stiller of fear, not even a scintilla of doubt Whose pens iller than Prince in a chinchilla Whose pens iller than Prince in a chinchilla Or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller Or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller Revenge killer of bin syllable binge Revenge killer of bin syllable binge Fill a syringe, till I Fill a syringe, till I Draw first blood Draw first blood Even pop shit on my pop shit, and it's popular Even pop shit on my pop shit, and it's popular Couldn't be more awkwarder Couldn't be more awkwarder Cause you're innocence I robbed you of Cause you're innocence I robbed you of It's my fingers that got stuck up It's my fingers that got stuck up Tortured a, not give a Tortured a, not give a Slapstick, hockey puck Slapstick, hockey puck The broad hunter with the sawed off The broad hunter with the sawed off Like an arm when it's lopped off of ya Like an arm when it's lopped off of ya But I'm not gonna, get the shotgun But I'm not gonna, get the shotgun Or the Glock, I'm gonna opt for the ox Or the Glock, I'm gonna opt for the ox Cause I'm into objects that are sharp when I sharpen Cause I'm into objects that are sharp when I sharpen It's not a shock, I'm such an obnoxious fucker It's not a shock, I'm such an obnoxious fucker The rock cuts into rock cause who would have thought The rock cuts into rock cause who would have thought This much of a cocksucker that go across the buttocks of Vivica Fox with a box cutter This much of a cocksucker that go across the buttocks of Vivica Fox with a box cutter That was for 50, little slap on the wrist be warned That was for 50, little slap on the wrist be warned I'm unrevealing quickly I'm unrevealing quickly My squabbles, I'm grappling with your time traveling with me My squabbles, I'm grappling with your time traveling with me Try and follow, as I wobble, relapse into history, with a flask of the whiskey Try and follow, as I wobble, relapse into history, with a flask of the whiskey Tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles Tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles Like what happened to Chris Reeves' spine column Like what happened to Chris Reeves' spine column That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems Wish my chest wasn't having to get these rhymes off 'em Wish my chest wasn't having to get these rhymes off 'em But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles And why I had to come back on these faggots who diss me is And why I had to come back on these faggots who diss me is More of a spectacular mystery than a fucking Agatha Christie crime novel More of a spectacular mystery than a fucking Agatha Christie crime novel But my patience is wearing thin But my patience is wearing thin Swear I been contemplating rubbing shit in your face till I smear it in Swear I been contemplating rubbing shit in your face till I smear it in Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen And never appear again And never appear again If you actually had fucking careers to end If you actually had fucking careers to end But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer 'em in that direction and forget my ideas for them But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer 'em in that direction and forget my ideas for them Molly, I'm gone off you Molly, I'm gone off you Man, light some kush Man, light some kush You're my first take, I'll nail you You're my first take, I'll nail you Can't lie, I gush Can't lie, I gush If I won you over, you would be the grand prize If I won you over, you would be the grand prize I'm entranced by your looks, come and give the Shady franchise a push I'm entranced by your looks, come and give the Shady franchise a push You can get it in a can like some Anheuser Busch You can get it in a can like some Anheuser Busch Jeans too small, least three pant sizes tush Jeans too small, least three pant sizes tush Mushed against your damn side, you puss Mushed against your damn side, you puss And thighs are squooshed And thighs are squooshed What kind of attires that? What kind of attires that? I'm ready to be rode I'm ready to be rode Psychopath, bet you we'll get it popping like a flat Psychopath, bet you we'll get it popping like a flat Light the match to ignite the wrath Light the match to ignite the wrath Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half Piper Chapmans might just have to picket me Piper Chapmans might just have to picket me Like a scab Like a scab Hard to describe in fact Hard to describe in fact Startling violent perhaps Startling violent perhaps Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that And you aren't really surprised at that And you aren't really surprised at that But as far as these lines I rap But as far as these lines I rap And these bars, wouldn't dial it back if I star 69'ed the track And these bars, wouldn't dial it back if I star 69'ed the track Why am I such a dick!? Why am I such a dick!?