Through the valley of the broken runs a river of wreckage
Past a mountain of metal in a wonderland of waste.
I'm a soldier of misfortune in this jungle of rejection
Riding herd on the discarded in a 10-ton crane.

Awaiting resurrection in this castaway collection
Is a hidden trove of riches mid the mangled and the maimed.
Every fender bender, every head-on and rear-ender
Holds a cache of precious treasure that is waiting to be claimed.

I'm just a miner in a mother lode of misery
Where the fruits of faulty judgement meet the spoils of bad luck.
Where the useless and unwanted
Find a place they can be flaunted.
I'm a soldier of misfortune and the king of junk.

I drive an '87 Chevy with a Pontiac engine.
It's got Buick front fenders and multi-colored doors.
It has a spider-web fracture in the driver-side windshield
And a dented bumper sticker that says "Trust in the Lord".

My VHF scanner's always prowlin' through the channels
Ever scourin' through the airwaves for the news of flashin' lights.
Seekin' crashes and collisions, crumpled chassis and dead engines,
I'm on the scene before you can say "Jaws of Life".

I'm just a miner in a mother lode of misery
Where the fruits of faulty judgement meet the spoils of bad luck.
Where the useless and unwanted
Find a place they can be flaunted.
I'm a soldier of misfortune and the king of junk.

Where the useless and unwanted
Find a place they can be flaunted.
I'm a soldier of misfortune. Yeah I'm the king of junk.