wednesday morning
my aunt sarah died
not many had known her
not many had tried
and there at the funeral
we all sat and lied
and said how much we missed her

you wanna know about sarah
where do i begin
she had this growth
to the left of her chin
let's all be honest she was ugly as sin
no one recalled having kissed her

but the choir sang
and the family wept
the preacher preached
and the children slept
we all wore black
and we paid our respects
all in all it was a very fine funeral

we stood at the grave
for a minute or two
straight-faced and solemn
like good mourners do
but we all felt relief
when we heard uncle lou
stand and say that's enough i'm freezin

sarah was never the neighborly kind
sure she had a mean streak ten miles wide
but the truth was she smelled
just like something died
now she's got a reason

chorus