[jack]
There were object so peculiar
They were not to be believed
All around, things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything i've ever seen
And as hard as i try
I can't seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream

But you must believe when i tell you this
It's as real as my skull and it does exist
Here, let me show you

This is a thing called a present
The whole thing starts with a box

[devil]
A box?
Is it steel?

[werewolf]
Are there locks?

[harlequin demon]
Is it filled with a pox?

[devil, werewolf, harlequin demon]
A pox
How delightful, a pox

[jack]
If you pleae
Just a box with bright-colored paper
And the whole thing's topped with a bow

[witches]
A bow?
But why?
How ugly
What's in it?
What's in it?

[jack]
That's the point of the thing, not to know

[clown]
It's a bat

[creature under the stairs]
Will it bend?

[clown]
It's a rat

[creature under the stairs]
Will it break?

[undersea gal]
Perhaps it's the head that i found in the lake

[jack]
Listen now, you don't understand
That's not the point of christmas land

Now, pay attention
Now we pick up an over-sized sock
And hang it like this on the wall

[mr. hyde]
Oh, yes! does it still have a foot?

[medium mr. hyde]
Let me see, let me look

[small mr. hyde]
Is it rotted and covered with gook?

[jack]
Hmm, let me explain
There's no foot inside, but there's candy
Or sometimes it's filled with small toys

[mummy and winged demon]
Small toys

[winged demon]
Do they bite?

[mummy]
Do they snap?

[winged demon]
Or explode in a sack?

[corpse kid]
Or perhaps they just spring out
And scare girls and boys

[mayor]
What a splendid idea
This christmas sounds fun
Why, i fully endorse it
Let's try it at once

[jack]
Everyone, please now, not so fast
There's sometihng here that you don't quite grasp
Well, i may as well give them what they want

And the best, i must confess, i have saved for the last
For the ruler of this christmas land
Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice
Least that's what i've come to understand

And i've also heard it told
That's he's something to behold
Like a lobster, huge and red
And sets out to slay with his rain gear on
Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms
That is, so i've heard it said

And on a darkm cold night
Under full moonlight
He flies into a fog
Like a vulture in the sky
And they call him sandy claws

Well, at least they're excited
Though they don't understand
That special lind of feeling in christmas land
Oh, well...