So you wanna be a hero kid, well whoop de doo
I have been around the block before with blockheads just like you
Each and everyone a disappointment, pain
For which there's no ointment
So much for excuses, done with kid of zeus's'
Asking me to jump into the fray
My answer is two words: Oh, kay

You mean you'll do it?
You win
You won't be sorry phil!
Oh gosh
So when do we start? Can we start now?
Oy, vey

I've givin' hope that someone would come along
A fella who would ring the bell for once, not the gong
The kind who wins trophies, won't settle for lophies
At least semi-prophecies, but noooooo I get the green horn

I've been out to pasture pal, my ambition gone
Content to spend lazy days to graze my lawn
But you need an advisor, a sayter but wiser
A good merchandiser and woooah! There goes my ulcer!

I'm down to one last hope and I hope it's you
Though kid, you're not exactly a dream come true
I've trained enough turkey's who never came through
You're my one last hope, so you'll have to do

Rule number six: When rescuing a damsel
Always handle with care!
Rule number 95, kid: Concentrate!
Rule number 96: Aim!

Demigods have faced the odds and ended up a mockary
Don't believe the stories that you read on all the crockery
To be a true hero kid is a dying art
Like paintin' a masterpiece: It's work of heart!

It takes more than sinew
It comes down to what's in you
You'll have continue to grow, now that's more like it!

I'm down to one last shot, and my best, I know
Before that blasted underworld get's my goat
My dreams are on you kid, go make them come true
Keep on the soap, keep pushing the envelope, you're
My one last hope and kid, it's up to you!