If i had a hammer
i'd wake up my neighbors
pounding out a rhythm
all about you

If i had a pencil
i'd push me some paper
i'd build a skyscraper
to get close to you

If i had a lasso
i'd sail out the window
and land on an island
next to you

If i had a hot rod
i'd fasten up my seatbelt
and break the speed limit
gettin' to you

But i ain't got a hammer
and i ain't got a pencil
and i ain't got a lasso
so i'm doing it the hard way
like a post post-modern man

If i had a credit card
i'd clear me a pathway
through the deepest jungle
right to your door

If i had a camera
i'd snap away my fingers
and collect up the pictures
of you of course

But i ain't got a hot rod
and i ain't got a credit card
no chance for a camera
so i'm doing it the hard way
like a post post-modern man

Well i ain't got a hammer
and i ain't got a lasso
no chance for a camera
so i'm doing it the hard way