I'm tired of self respect
I can't afford a car
I wanna be a prefab superstar
I wanna be a tool
Don't need no soul
Wanna make big money
Playing rock and roll

I'll make my music boring
I'll play my music slow
I ain't no artist, I'm a businessman
No ideas of my own
I won't offend
Or rock the boat
Just sex and drugs
And rock and roll

Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool…my payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool…my payola!

You'll pay ten bucks to see me
On a fifteen foot high stage
Fatass bouncers kickin' the shit
Out of kids who try to dance
And if my friends say
I've lost my guts
I'll laugh and say
That's rock and roll

But there's just one problem

Is my cock big enough?
Is my brain small enough?
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot
And I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

Give me a toot
And I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far
And when I'm rich
And meet Bob Hope
We'll shoot some golf
And shoot some dope

Is my cock big enough?
Is my brain small enough?
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot
And I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

(Everybody put the hands together)

Is my cock big enough?
Is my brain small enough?
For you to make me a star?

(Everybody singing one time)

Is my cock big enough?
Is my brain small enough?
For you to make me a star?

(Shut up and dance, everybody!)

Is my cock big enough?
Is my brain small enough?
For you to make me a star?
Give me a toot
And I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

(One more time!)

Give me a toot
And I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far

And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool…my payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool…my payola!