OK, 'Dirty Claus Rag', take 27!
The night 'fore Christmas we put up a tree,
You know it sure was a beautiful sight to see
The kids standin' round with a smile on their face
Were hangin' their stockings over the fireplace
And off to bed you know we all did race
Just a-waitin' for ol' Santa Claus.

Santa Claus, you dirty dog,
You know you done us wrong.
Woke up this morning, took a look around,
The Christmas tree was gone.

Well, come on, folks won't you listen to me,
I'm gonna tell ya the story about my Christmas tree
This kind of thing it won't happen no more
I'm gonna nail down the tree to the living-room floor
Wait for ol' Santa behind the door
And when he comes I'm gonna say

Santa Claus, you dirty dog,
You know you done us wrong.
Woke up this morning, took a look around,
The Christmas tree was gone.

Well, come on, folks won't you listen to me,
I'm gonna tell ya the story about my Christmas tree
This kind of thing it won't happen no more
I'm gonna nail down the tree to the living-room floor
Wait for ol' Santa behind the door
And when he comes I'm gonna say

Santa Claus, you dirty dog,
You know you done us wrong.
Woke up this morning, took a look around,
The Christmas tree was gone.