Don't be scared
It's for a good cause
Put your hand out
And try to act calm

I can still feel those
Hairy little fingers
Pluck a nickel from my
Sweaty little palm

He scratched me!

Collar goes tight
Fat man's cranking
And the monkey's reeled in
Don't he look a little blue?

Who knows factually a monkey's life span?
This is not your ordinary hurdy-gurdy man
All you higher primates sweatin' to keep the company strong
Have you heard the song of the monkey grinder?

Don't you worry
This monkey's lucky
Got himself a good job
And a nice boss
Who's gonna keep him happy
From the cradle to the grave

And someday, son...

And the collar goes tight
The fat man's cranking
And the monkey's reeled in
This machine is humming

Who knows factually a monkey's life span?
This is not your ordinary hurdy-gurdy man
All you higher primates sweatin' to keep the company strong
Have you heard the song of the monkey grinder?

I can't find my little lost dog
And the neighbors say theirs disappeared last week
And there's a rumor goin' 'round 'bout a big long boa
And I hear it's living under the fat man's porch

Some say it's insatiable
Some say it just unhooks its jaws
And then it swallows most anything it wants
Even a full grown fat man

Who knows factually a monkey's life span?
This is not your ordinary hurdy-gurdy man
All you higher primates sweatin' to keep the company strong
Have you heard the song of the monkey grinder?