There's an evil force spreading far and wide
'Cross this kingdom of pipes and fungus
We have seen the hell of each deadly turtle shell
But a hero resides among us
Not a towering man, not a daunting knight
Still, a smart lionheart is he
Who is this noble demigod?
It's a-me
It's a-me

There's a tyrant king with a reptile heart
And he's started a wave of crime now
From his ship high above he abducted my love
For, like, the fourteenth or fifteenth time now
Who will stop this foe? Who will save the day?
Win this war, yes, victoriously
I'll give you just one guess, time's up
It's a-me
It's a-me

I have hopped through his hordes, so much blood on my shoes
With a murderous battle cry: "hoo-hoo!"
I have burnt them alive with the fire from my hands
Every last one, I vow, shall die!

And I run underneath as the tyrant leaps
And I turn just in time as he finally reaps his recompense:
Death by lava

And I run down the hall, for I cannot wait
I'm unstoppable now on a charge heading straight into the arms
Of my lover

Thank you, Mario, but our Princess is in another castle
Oh

There's an anguished man with a forlorn face
For it's cold and the nights are lonely
He looks all around, but his Princess can't be found
It's his fault and it's his fault only
He brought on this war with a cocky grin
Only now does he truly see
He hoisted this upon himself
Who is this Italian handyman elf?
It's a-me