Zelda! Why, why it's me!
It's little Linky! Don't you know me?

Meet me in the dungeon, dear
Or wherever danger's near
How I miss your little baby face
In my arms though, you're out of place
How I love the thought of you in chains
Please get kidnapped again
Be my damsel, but be in distress, please let me have a second quest

I don't want what I can clearly have
Hard to get though, honey, that's the salve
Hide, disguise, or get turned into stone,
Helpless and so all alone
In my dreams, dear, is where you go best
So let me have a second quest

Now I admit that I've consented to a magical fairy fling
That Sheik and I experimented but it didn't mean a thing
I promise I'll be true my dear, I'm butter in your pan
Just as long as you've been captured
By a pig or a wizard or a bearded man

So think of me and sing a little song
In a tower where you belong
I will fight a thousand men or more
Wedded bliss though would be a bore
So kiss me dear and won't you say "Godspeed,"
Action adventure's what I need!
Be my love-dove, just stay in your nest
Please let me have a second,
And a third too if it beckoned
Let me have a second
Quest!
Quest!
Alright
You're the best!