I am Doctor Mario and I am saving lives
I look different in this game
(I lost the hat, got a coat, doctor light, stethoscope)
I am Doctor Mario and I prescribe high-fives
Laughter's the best medicine, so bah-hah-hah, you fell down!

In the Mushroom Kingdom, I'm the finest doc by far (What?! Liar! Boo.)
I got my degree by watching House and Scrubs and E.R.
Brightly colored pills! (Pills)
They'll cure all your ills! (Ills)
Just as long as you've got fever or the chills (Cold)

Take off your pants
Good, now let's see
Turn your head and cough
Okay, now do me! Please?

Does it hurt to pee? (No)
Is it hard to see? (No)
I am diagnosing you with HPV (Aw)

You've got mononucleosis, halitosis, scoliosis
Fifteen days is my prognosis
You need red and blue pill doses!
You've got scabies and phlebitis, chronic rabies, hepatitis,
You'll be brave and you'll unite us, then you'll die of menengitis

Wait, wait
I'm wrong
You have
Crabs

Brightly colored pills! (Pills)
They'll cure all your ills! (Ills)
Just as long as you've got fever or the chills!

Take it, 'Floss!
(I'm playin' the piano and I'm playin' really good ah-na-na)
Dr. Mario!