I am doctor mario and I am saving lives
I look different in this game,
(I lost the hat, got a coat, doctor light, stethoscope)
I am doctor mario and I prescribe high fives
Laughter's the best medicine, so bah-hah-hah you fell down.
In the mushroom kingdom, I'm the finest doc by far

(What?! Liar! Boo.)
I got my degree by watching house and scrubs and e.r.
Brightly colored pills! (pills)
They'll cure all your ills! (ills)
Just as long as you've got fever or the chills (cold)

Take off your pants... Good, now let's see
Turn your head and cough
Okay, now do me
Please?
Does it hurt to pee? (no.)
Is it hard to see? (no.)
I am diagnosing you with hpv (oh.)

You've got mononucleosis, halitosis
Scoliosis, fifteen days is my prognosis
You need red and blue pill doses!
You've got scabies and phlebitis
Chronic rabies, hepatitis,
You'll be brave and you'll unite us
Then you'll die of menengitis
Wait wait—I'm wrong—you have... Crabs

Brightly colored pills! (pills)
They'll cure all your ills! (ills)
Just as long as you've got fever or the chills!
Take it floss!
(I’m playin’ the piano and I’m playin’ really good ahnnahnna)
Dr. Mario!