Every day I open up my laptop
And log on to ScrewAttack.com
'Cause there's a special someone I'm longing to gaze upon
What a very special person
Who I can't wait to see
At least she's very special to me

Corey
Baby, what's your story?
You're the only girl on ScrewAttack
And even though Jose's got a nicer rack
I'd do anything for you, I'd even buy a Power Glove
To smash a question box and find the power-up of love
The things I feel for you are self-explanatory
Oh-whoa-oh-oh
Corey

Verse two!
Corey, there is no category
With which to describe the way you make life fun
You're like Zelda, Samus, Peach, and Lara Croft in one
I'd be honored and obliged if you'd trade consoles with me
I could plug right into your Xbox and you could mess around with my Wii
Now I know I'm crass and vulgar, but it's not meant to be derogatory
Oh-whoa-oh-oh
Corey
Yeah!

I know I'm not so great at subtlety
When it comes to writing odes
And I'm always gonna have to struggle with the fact
That you don't like Battletoads
No!

And I know I'm not that smart
I can't even tie my own shoelaces
But I don't care if you burp
No, baby, I don't care if you fart
And I would eat chicken salad right outta your braces
Right outta your braces, yeah!

Corey, let's write our own love story
Show me how to find your hidden castle
Even though I'm bald and kind of an asshole
All the G1's agree, baby you're a fuckin' prize
And I wanna be in Corey's Corner one day
If you know what I'm sayin' guys

You're a classy, classy chick
I just wish you were a little more whorey
Oh-whoa-oh-oh
Oh-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Corey
Yeah!