I remember sayin' I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "Ya see that thing right there well ya know what that means"

And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if hes anything like me
He'll probably climb a tree to tall and ride hes bike to fast
End up every summer wearin something in a cast
Hes gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street
Hes gonna get in trouble oh hes gonna get in fights
Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me

I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass tryin to melt the Tonka truck
Wont he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time hes in his teens
And heaven help him if hes anything like me

He'll probably stay out to late and drive his car to fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
Hes gonna get caught skippin class and be ground for a week
Hes gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights
Im gonna lose my temper and some sleep
Its safe to say that im gonna get my pay back if hes anything like me

Hes gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day
Hes gonna hug hes momma hes gonna shake my hand
Hes gonna act like he cant wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry hes eyes out
If hes anything like me (cant understand)
Aw he'll be alright if hes anything like me