Here's a story of an honest man losing religion
Climbing the pulpit steps before an eager congregation
The while praying came a wicked inspiration
Brothers, sisters this is what he said:

Dearly beloved (Make no mistake)
Dearly beloved (despite our traits)
Dearly beloved (I've seldom seen)

I can't relate to you! (I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you!

He was the kind of guy who'd always go right out of his way
But more before that crazy notion leapt right into his head
And stubbornly crept into every mad perception
I can't deny a funny feeling when he said:

Dearly beloved (Make no mistake)
Dearly beloved (despite our traits)
Dearly beloved (I've seldom seen)

I can't relate to you! (I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you!

Dearest in memoriam
Set phasers to stun
And grab yourself a neighbors' skeleton to lean upon
Did you know him in life?
One filled with regret
So soon we all forget
We ever met

Do you know my name?
Sing a light refrain
For a man estranged
I won't deny that I'm inclined to isolate

Dearly beloved
Dearly beloved
Dearly beloved (Oh, I can't relate)

I can't relate to you (I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you (I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you (I can't relate to you)
I can't relate to you!