there's a monster in my pants
and it does a nasty dance
when it moves in and out
everybody starts to shout

monster AHHH!
monster ahhh..
get out of here monster!
monster!
monster!
get out of here monster!

there's a monster in my pants
and it does a naughty dance
when it sees the light of day
you can hear the people say

oh no a monster!
oh no a monster!
oh no oh oh oh no a giant monster
monster!
monster!
oh no a giant monster!

Shut the window bolt the door
don't wanna see that monster no more

Shut the window bolt the door
don't wanna see that monster no more

there's a monster in my pants
and it does a modern dance
when it comes into a room
people hit it with a broom

take that, monster!
take that, monster!
take it! take it!
take that you awful thing!

take that AAAAH!
take that aaaah...
take that you naughty thing

they don't wear pants on the other side of France
but they do wear fleece to protect them from the beast

monster!
monster!
oh gee a pregnant monster!

there's a monster on the run
and it wants to have some fun
when it flies into the air
all the people stop and stare
the guys give a yell (uuuuh!)
and the girls start to shriek (AAAH!)
when they see it's giant claws
and it's razor sharp beak

guy: gosh will you look at that thang!
girl: and I thought dinosaurs were extinct!