I remember when there were only one-hundred and fifty of you
Well, technically one-hundred and one if you are counting Mew, but I digress
I guess I spent the best years of my little life
Surfing Cinnabar Island to get one-hundred and twenty-six Revives
And I miss the Pokémon Center
I miss its music too
And the way that Snorlax looked like Lapras on water
Pokémon, what happened to you?

In the old days, you only got one form of every kind
I could name all the Gym Leaders, didn’t even have to try
But now you’ve shown me Team Galactic and Dark and Steel and eggs
Oh I want my Red and Blue back when Ditto wasn’t used for sex
I miss the cycling road, don’t you know
I miss the music too
And I can’t believe you used to be in black and white
Pokémon, what happened to you

Now Legendary means nothing to me
Because one-of-a-kind creatures add up to over thirty
And I only want three choices for my Eevee
I don’t want a rival if his name is not Gary

And how the hell do you pronounce Sweecoon, Sooisine, Sweesign, Sooisoon, I don’t know

I miss holding down the B button when I thought it made it easier
I miss surfing to the truck and using Strength to try and move it
I miss watching my Charmander evolve into a Charmeleon
I don’t accept your Leaf Green, they’ll always be Red and Blue to me

Yesterday I dreamt I was surrounded by Unown
The spelled the words “I’m sorry on behalf of Nintendo
We don’t get Poffins either, and SuperContests are so-so
And the Pokédex was fine, it didn’t need a radio”
I miss the Team Rocket hideout
And I miss the music too
And why have shinies if they’re so impossible to find
Pokémon, what happened to you
Pokémon, what happened to you

And I’ll never again experience that joy of mine
Because you are incompatible with my brand new