He had what you might

call a trivial occupation

he cleaned the platforms

of the local railway station

with no romance in his life

sometimes he wished

he had a wife

he read the matrimonial

advertising pages

the cries for help

from different people

different ages

but they had nothing to say

at least not until the day

when something special he read

this is what it said

“If you dream

of the girl for you

then call us and get

two for the price of one

we're the answer

if you feel blue

so call us and get

two for the price of one”

He called the number

and a voice said “Alice Whiting”

the voice was husky

and it sounded quite exciting

he was amazed at his luck

the purest streak of gold he'd struck

he said, “I read your ad

it sounded rather thrilling

I think a meeting could be

mutually fulfilling

why don't we meet for a chat

the three of us in my flat

I can't forget what I read

this is what it said”

“If you dream

of the girl for you

then call us and get

two for the price of one

we're the answer

if you feel blue

so call us and get

two for the price of one”

She said “I'm sure

we must be perfect

for each other

and if you doubt it

you'll be certain

when you meet my mother”