[Intro]
"You again" - "Are you following me?"
"Why no, I'm stalking you"
*scratching*
From a distance I desired her
Se-secretly admired her
*scratching*
From a distance I desired her
Se-secretly admired her

[Verse 1]
I stroll through the mall
Runnin' my finger along the wall
I just left a restroom stall
Got a strange way of movin'
Strange way of dressin'
Strange way of makin' a, good first impression
Memphis only jacket, unidentified packet
Sunglasses, jeans wash was acid, newspaper in the back
I also got a dagger strapped to my leg
but who knows what I'm gonna do with that
A sick fuck without employment
Hankerin' in every single shopping center for my own enjoyment
I checkin' out a girl that's fly
She's workin' at the mack make-up counter next to Best Buy
Waitin' by the elevator, tryna look busy
So I can figure out what I'm gonna tell her later
First time I met her I didn't really bait her
I was making change as she was purchasin' a peter
I gave her money back, she gave me a look
Batted her, eyelashes that was all that it took
Now she owes me, cause it's obvious she wants me
I'm looking at you, girl I must have you

[Sample of someone talking]
Cause you're the one
You are the unspoiled virgin bride
You are the blonde canvas on which I will paint my future
Don't you remember you smiled at me once at the croissant tray

[Verse 2]
Quirky and eccentric, I'm a true fiend
I know her routine, her eyes are blue green
I guess they're contacts cause they used to be brown
Plus I watched her get 'em at the optician downtown
I'm always scopin' her usually from far away
She rides the silver Audi off to work everyday
Except for Thursday she gets a ride from her mother
or some other dude until I killed that motherfucker
Forget the narrative, I'm thinkin' horse drawn carriages
and marriages, she likes to eat esparogus so I think
Cause it stinks when I'm hangin' out
At her bathroom sink, having a drink
When she's at the shrink
Yo she never should've winked
Now I got her name on my arm in ink
I'm in her closet strokin' her mink

Looking for the missing link
But all I find is Pink and N'Sync
She's sweet, sixteen and good yet she's callin' me a creep
Cause I'm sneakin' through her backyard just to watch her sleep
Rain snow or sleet, ya gotta understand
Everywhere she goes there I am, the stalker

Hook:
*scratching*
From a distance I desired her
Se-secretly admired her
*scratching*
From a distance I desired her

Alright wanna know what I do
Listen this is how it goes

[Verse 3]
Find out where she works, go online do a search
Dig up some dirt, put on a shirt buy her some skirts
But look like a regular guy don't go berserk
You whole goal's to flirt but now ya gotta lurk
Pretend you're a customer, grab yourself a map
And throw an extra sweater in the bag from The Gap
And keep a low pro, but don't look conspicuous
And don't wear that Iceberg, Why?, it looks ridiculous
Rapid french find a bench near the wench
Put your elbows on ya lap and just sit there like that
Nah, it sounds dreadful but find out her schedule
If she gotta close, ya gotta rock the janitor's clothes
and change thrash 'til ya knees hurt
Water plants in the short sleeve shirt cause you need work
And if she's off at eleven
Be outside with ya lights out and the engine revvin'

*engine revving*

[Older guys talking]
Well I realise recently that I'm getting older
and I think that when I knew this was that teenage girls
don't acknowledge me as a sexual being
Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that I wanna
have sex with teenage girls throw me a bone ya know
How about a smile ya know what I mean? nothing
Nothing unless it's to turn to their friends and go
Why is that weird guy looking at us? (laughing)
What is he doing at the mall?
We can get to the food court their guards there run you guys
I lied, I lied, I lied, of of course I wanna have sex with
teenage girls, doesn't everyone, (laughing even louder)
I mean that's why there's a law (everyone laughs)
If no one wanted to do it
THERE WOULDN'T BE A LAW! (everyone laughs)