you see that lady in the mezzanine?
And do you see that couple on the aisle?
And what about those hippies in the balcony?
Do you see the way they look at us and smile?
We always get a ton of them at matinees,
From out of town, the ones those buses bring.
For no matter what the nature of the audience,
They always seem concerned with just one thing:

Do we? Do we?
That's what you want to know,
Isn't it?
Do we? Do we?
That's what disturbs you so,
Isn't it?
You sit there wondering:
"What are those two all about?"
Do we?
That's for us to know and you to find out!

He looks ancient,
Chewing his Gelusil,
Doesn't he?
She was famous
Nursing at Bunker Hill,
Wasn't she?
You sit there wondering
If we really ring that bell.
Do we?
Eat your hearts out, kids, 'cause we'll never tell.

Would they?
Could they?
Well, sir, there are certain things that we'll never
tell.

Do we? Do we?
Doesn't that make this turn
Int'resting?
With no tallow,
How doth the candle burn?
Int'resting!
Do his pajama tops
Compliment her negligee?
Well, sir, there are certain things --
Well, miss, there are private things --
Well, son, there are pers'nal things
That a lady and a gentleman won't say!